The Dragons' Convention
by Cke1st
Summary: When all the dragons get together, they vote Toothless the #1 Most Loved Dragon. Many of them want to ask him questions... but what kinds of questions? You, the readers, get to choose. Rated K-plus.
1. Chapter 1

**The Dragons' Convention** Chapter 01

 _A/N  
When all the dragons get together, they vote Toothless the #1 Most Loved Dragon. Many of them want to ask him questions... but what kinds of questions? You, the readers, get to choose. Rated K-plus._

 _This story is sort of a sequel to "The Fanfic Panel Discussion." It will be written as much by you, the readers, as by me._

 **o**

At a certain time of year, usually in the dead of winter (in the Northern Hemisphere), all the famous dragons in the world disappear. To some humans, that's good news; it means the relentless war against them has taken a short break. Other humans sadly watch the skies and wonder where all the colorful flying reptiles have gone, and hope they'll be back soon.

Where do they go? They gather in a huge valley, in a mountain range where people never go, and they have something like a convention. They renew acquaintances, strike up new friendships, exchange news about the world at large and about humanity in particular, and generally enjoy each other's company for a week, free from fear that a battle-crazed dragon slayer will cut any of them down. The valley needs to be huge because some of the dragons are huge.

This year's convention was going pretty much the way it had gone in past years. Spike, from "My Little Pony," was at the bar, commiserating with Spyro about being small and purple in a society where dragons were respected only if they were big, fierce, and a cool color like red or black. The semi-dragons, Jake Long and Trogdor the Burninator, were swapping stories about living among humans and dealing with their many foibles. Ruth, the white dragon from Pern, was munching on wherries brought in from Pern for this occasion; Earth livestock just didn't taste right to him. He was chatting amiably with Toothless about the ups and downs of being bonded to a young man who was destined to rule other humans. Over by the sheep pen, Drogon from "A Game of Thrones" was patiently enduring a heartfelt lesson from Elliot, of "Pete's Dragon" fame, about how being kind and pleasant would be better for his image than being wild and out of control. He said nothing until Elliot took him to task for the way he treated children.

"If I'd been cruel to kids, I'd be nowhere today," Elliot was saying. "I know your agent told you that the 'vicious' persona would get you more screen time and more fan mail, but trust me – if you want to get ahead in a world that's being run by humans, you _have_ to love children."

"But I _do_ love children!" Drogon protested. "Especially when they're cooked golden brown, and just a little bit crunchy on the outside... hey, where are you going?" Elliot ran off in dismay. It looked like he'd be spending his time with either the Reluctant Dragon or with Puff the Magic Dragon, as usual. The other dragons just didn't understand him. At least he hoped he wouldn't wind up sitting next to H.R. Pufnstuf; _that_ dragon gave him the creeps!

As the sun approached high noon, Kalessin (from "Earthsea"), oldest and wisest of them all, called the meeting to order. The dragons lay down in rows, with the very small ones (like Mushu from "Mulan" and Lockheed from the X-Men) in front, and the really big ones in the back.

"Welcome back, everyone," Kalessin began. "It's always good to see all your faces again. I am sorry to say that the humans are still running the world, and our kind are still very rare, and actually unwanted in many places... but I'm sure you already knew that. Still, we have a strong and devoted fan club of people who would love to meet us, and who would defend us if they could."

"It's a sad day when a _dragon_ needs to be defended by a _human!"_ shouted Draco, from "Dragonheart." Many of the others nodded in agreement.

"Still, this is the world we live in," Kalessin went on. "We may not be as numerous as we once were, but we are much more well-known than in the past, and that is just as important. In fact, we've grown so popular that, after thinking long and hard about it, I have decided that the rules for getting into the Dragon Hall of Fame need to be changed.

"In the past, getting your name in the Hall of Fame required you to be an awesome dragon, in one way or another. But there are so many of us who deserve admission that, as of this year, we'll add two dragons a year instead of one. One will be the winner of the Most Feared competition, and the other will be the Most Loved."

"Feared and loved by humans, you mean?" asked Dragon from "Shrek."

"He doesn't mean by donkeys!" retorted Saphira from "Inheritance Cycle." They all laughed except Dragon.

"Anyway," Kalessin went on, "we'll start with the 'Most Feared' category. I don't think there will be much argument when I inform you all that this year's top vote-getter is... Drogon!" The big red-and-black dragon reared up on his hind legs and roared in victory; Rhaegal and Visarion looked on enviously.

"As usual, I'll let last year's top vote-getter make the presentation." Kalessin stepped aside as Smaug crawled forward. He was quite a bit bigger than the current winner, but Drogon was not intimidated.

"Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I'll keep this short," Smaug began.

"Short like a hobbit?" muttered Falkor the Luck Dragon.

"I'll ignore that," Smaug growled. "As for Drogon, his record speaks for itself. From a tiny little hatchling sitting on a naked woman's shoulder, to an uncontrollable killer who will let that woman ride him, but not let her tell him what to eat, we've seen him grow into the kind of dragon most of you can only dream of being." He shot an accusatory glance at the Reluctant Dragon. "He may be one of the newest among us, but he's a rising star with few equals. I've won the award several times through the years, and it's always a thrill, so it must be even more thrilling to win at such an early point in his career. Drogon, we salute you!" At that, all the dragons threw back their heads and breathed out a fiery salute. A few low-flying birds quickly high-tailed it out of there; some of their tails were scorched and smoking.

"Well done, well done," Kalessin nodded as he re-took center stage. "We'd give you a big hand, but most of us don't have hands." A few dragons chuckled out of politeness; Kalessin had been telling the same jokes for thousands of years. "But now it's time for our very first winner in the Most Loved category. This one was a tight race; so many of you have given up fierceness in exchange for popularity that it was hard to pick one winner. But we did pick one, based on fan mail, fan fiction, merchandising, and overall appeal. Our winner is... Toothless!"

The Night Fury left his place in the middle of the pack and strutted forward. He was quite surprised to find another dragon doing the same thing. This other dragon was tiny and green, with red wings and the same proud strut as the much bigger black dragon.

"No, not you!" Kalessin hissed. "Not the _book_ Toothless, the _movie_ Toothless!"

"T-t-toothless was here first!" the little dragon protested. "Is only one Toothless! Is me!"

"I hate to break it to you," sighed Stanley Steamer from the "Xanth" novels, "but the movie Toothless is awesome, powerful, and deadly, and he is much-loved because he willingly sets those qualities aside to be Hiccup's best friend. You, on the other hand, are a selfish, insignificant little git who has to be talked into doing anything good or decent. Popular? Maybe. Loved? Not so much."

"You hurt Toothless' f-f-feelings," the small one sniffed.

"Please take your place, little fellow," Kalessin said soothingly. "There's always next year."

"Toothless will be f-f-first next year!" book-Toothless threatened. He walked back to his place, then angrily turned to the Night Fury. "I'll make a poo on your sleeping stone!"

"I think you won't," movie-Toothless said casually. "Don't you remember what I did to that Terrible Terror who stole my fish in the first movie? _He_ got off lightly." He finished striding to the front of the convention area, sat down, and assumed the same proud look he'd worn near the end of the second movie, when the dragons were accepting him as their new Alpha.

"Toothless, we didn't have a Most Loved winner last year, so we don't have anyone to make your speech for you," Kalessin continued. "Next year, you'll make the speech, assuming that you don't win the award twice in a row. Instead of that, we'll open the floor to questions.

"Do any of you dragons have any questions you'd like to ask Toothless?"

 **o**

 _A/N  
Well, do you? What kinds of questions would you ask Toothless if you could? Please send those questions in the form of reviews, and I'll help Toothless answer them. Also, if you want to, please specify which dragon you'd like to ask the question. It can be one of the dragons I've mentioned so far, or another dragon from HTTYD, or it could be a dragon from some other story. Perhaps a vicious killer like Vermithrax Pejorative from "Dragonslayer," or a more kind-hearted reptile like Gorbash from "A Flight of Dragons"? You choose. Please don't pick a completely obscure dragon; pick one that I can learn about from a quick Google search, in case I'm not familiar with him/her/it. If you don't specify a dragon, I'll select one._

 _The questions can be about HTTYD, or about dragons in general, or any other subject that Toothless might know something about. I'll answer as many questions as I can. The more questions you send, the more I'll write. Please keep them kid-friendly. Now, let those questions flow!  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**The Dragons' Convention** Chapter 02

"Do any of you dragons have any questions you'd like to ask Toothless?"

Wings were raised all over the valley floor. Evidently, a _lot_ of dragons had questions for him! Kalessin noticed an unfamiliar-looking species a few rows behind where Toothless had been standing. "I'll hear your question first, but before you ask it... what _are_ you?"

"I'm a Thunderwing," he replied proudly. Blank looks were the only response he got.

"Is that even a thing?" Draco wondered.

"Of course it is – it's a custom species that a fanfic writer made up," the dragon answered. "That's just as valid as a dragon that Cressida Cowell made up, isn't it?"

"Technically, this convention is for _famous_ dragons," Lockheed pointed out.

The Thunderwing looked peeved. "Technically, I think a lot of dragons have the same question I have, and it's this: Toothless, if your tail is injured and your human isn't around, how the heck did you get here?"

"How did I get here?" Toothless echoed him. "Why would you ask a question like that? We have dragons here like Smaug and Vermithrax who are certifiably _dead;_ how did _they_ get here?"

"Don't remind me," Vermithrax growled.

Toothless went on. "I could give you some philosophical gobbledygook about how you can't keep a good dragon down – or a bad one," he added, with a glance at Vermithrax. "But that would be a human approach to the question, and even though I spend most of my time with humans, I refuse to let myself think like one! The reality is that Hiccup put a lock on my tail fin so he can jump off and glide – _not_ fly, I might add, no matter what _he_ might call it – and he locked my tail down just before I took off to join this conference. It's awkward, trying to fly with my tail almost immobile. It takes me half a mile to reverse my direction. But at least I can make it this year, unlike the past few years when I was stuck on that frostbitten Viking island."

"Toothless raises an interesting point," Kalessin cut in. "Smaug, you died in front of many witnesses, and your bones were seen for years afterward, just under the water. How _did_ you get here?"

Smaug looked embarrassed. "I really don't know. Maybe the human gobbledygook-speakers are right; maybe you _can't_ keep a good dragon down. Does it matter? I mean, I've been coming to this convention since 1938, as humans reckon the years, and _now_ you're asking me how I got here?"

"As _some_ humans reckon the years," Mushu reminded them. "Them crazy humans can't even agree on which _calendar_ to use! I mean, they live a lot less years than us powerful dragons, so you'd think they could figure out _one_ good way to keep track of what year it is? But _no-o-o!_ They got to make up fourteen different –"

"That's good, thank you," Kalessin cut him off. "My own opinion is that there is some kind of time/space effect that allows dragons from different times and places to all get together. So if we're from all times and places, then the dragons who are known to be dead are visiting us from the time when they were still alive. It's not a perfect explanation, but I can't think of anything better. Yes, Saphira? Do you have a question?"

"Yes, I do. Toothless, how did you arrange to become the Most Loved dragon?"

"Well, it involved some sacrifices," Toothless admitted. "For starters, I had to alter my image. I mean, when the first movie started, I was the Unholy Offspring of Lightning and Death Itself! I was the thing that never steals food, never shows myself, and – _boom!_ – never misses. But what's the scene about me that everyone remembers? _This_ one!" He sat down and assumed the puppy-dog-eyed look from the "Forbidden Friendship" sequence, right after Hiccup kicked away his dagger.

"So you gave up your self-respect?" Rhaegal asked him.

"No, I gave up my killer image," Toothless replied. "I'm still as awesome as I ever was. If you don't believe me, ask the Muddy Alpha."

"We can't," Shrek-Dragon noticed. "The big guy isn't here."

"I think he's being fitted for a prosthetic tusk," Trogdor added.

"Prosthetics are good things if you need them," Toothless said, with a swish of his tail. "But anyway, all I traded away was people's perceptions of me as a monster. I mean, I could have gone for Most Feared, like Drogon did and like Smaug has always done, and I might have won. I can still dial up the 'awesome' when I need to. But meeting Hiccup changed everything for me. I realized that being liked was a good thing, even better than being feared. So I made my choice, and here I am. Saphira, I think your real question is, 'How can _I_ become Most Loved?' My answer is, you can be Most Loved, or you can be Most Feared, but you can't do both. You're walking a middle path, and if that works for you, great! But you won't win either prize that way."

They were interrupted by the entrance of a man with long brown hair and Asian features, carrying a guitar case. He took one look at all the dragons, his mouth fell open, and he turned and ran away before anyone could react.

"Who was that?" H.R. Pufnstuf asked. "He looked lost."

"I think that was Herman Li from Dragonforce," Jake Long replied. At the other dragons' blank looks, he explained, "They're a power-metal band."

"Did he think this was a Dragonforce convention?" asked Firedrake from "Dragonrider."

"Oh, mama, did _he_ take a wrong turn!" Mushu added.

"That's what happens when you don't read the whole memo," Kalessin concluded. "Did someone else have a question for Toothless? Yes, Lockheed?"

The small purple alien dragon rose. "I hope this isn't a touchy subject, but do you think you're the last of the Night Furies?"

"Yeah!" Mushu exclaimed. "If you're the Most Loved, then where's your hot girl friend? Huh?"

Toothless sighed. "I'm the only Night Fury I know of. I never met my father, and my mother sent me away as soon as she thought I could fend for myself, so our population wouldn't get too concentrated. That's how I wound up under the Queen's control – I was too immature to see that kind of trouble coming until I was in over my head, and I didn't have any adult guidance.

"Are there any others like me? I sure hope so, but I don't know. It would be nice to meet others of my kind, but I'm not unhappy the way things are. I think it means more to Hiccup to find another Night Fury than it means to me. I'm perfectly content with him, and besides, I couldn't go flying with another Night Fury unless he makes some major improvements on my tail rig."

"Didn't he make you a tail that worked without his help?" the Reluctant Dragon asked. "You could have flown just fine without your human, but you threw that tail away."

"Well... yes, I did that," the black dragon admitted. "That was because I... I just don't want to fly without Hiccup anymore. If I had to choose, I think I'd rather be with him than with another Night Fury. I'm kind of glad I don't have to make that choice."

"That was my question," Charizard the Pokémon called. "Exactly how do you feel about your human?"

"Yes," Puff added. "How much do you love him?"

"That's an easy one," Toothless smiled. _"This_ much!" He spread his wings to their full span. Puff and Elliot smiled and nodded; the more ferocious dragons had no idea what he was talking about.

"From the moment we first made eye contact, I knew he was different from other humans," the Night Fury went on. "Every dragon knows that a Viking will always, _always_ go for the kill. But he didn't. He spared my life instead, so I spared his. When he trusted me, I trusted him back. When he showed me that he wanted to help me fly again, I let him ride me. And when we saved each other's lives in mid-air, that sealed our bond forever. The two of us are one. There's no other way to put it."

"Did you know it was his fault that you couldn't fly in the first place?" Smaug growled.

"When he said, 'I have brought down this mighty beast,' that kind of gave me a clue," Toothless said with a straight face. "But, as one fanfic author put it, that was in the middle of a war. Vikings and dragons were all trying our best to destroy each other, and sometimes people get hurt that way. I knew it was nothing personal. When he offered me peace in the middle of that war, the least I could do was forgive."

"Forgive?" Vermithrax snarled. "I don't even know what that word means!"

"There's a reason why I'm the Most Loved and you aren't," Toothless answered smugly.

The bigger dragon bristled with anger. "How would you like to be the Most Burnt, hot shot? One fire blast, and that phony tail of yours is toast, and _then_ what will you do?"

"I'll blow your gases up in your belly before that fire blast even leaves your mouth," Toothless threatened. His muzzle and back began shining purple; Vermithrax pawed the ground and lashed his tail. The dragons who were near him edged away.

"Vermithrax, _sit down,"_ Kalessin ordered in a powerful voice. The command of an Alpha dragon cannot be ignored, and Kalessin was the ultimate Alpha. The big fire-breather glared at him, but slowly relaxed and sat. Toothless let himself power down when he saw that the impending attack wasn't going to happen.

"That's better," the ancient dragon went on. "Please remember – we're all on the same side. You don't have to maintain your reputations for ferocity here. All of us know what the others can do, and none of us has anything to prove. Vermithrax, I think Toothless was saying that he's better at getting along with humans than you are, and that's why he won the award. No one would argue with that – certainly not you! He isn't claiming to be a better dragon than you are. Isn't that right, Toothless?" The Night Fury nodded after a moment.

"Now, are there any more questions for our Most Loved dragon?"

 **o**

 _A/N  
Well? Are there any more questions? I've got a couple left over from the first batch of reviews and comments that this story has received, and I've got a few of my own, but it will be more fun if you, the readers, contribute some more questions to stretch the boundaries of this story. The questions in this story were contributed by Drunken Hamster, Eeveecat1248, The Crimson Commando, movielover48, Ohsochich, Kuchey18, TooLazyToLogIn, and Spritefire (in the order they were received)._


	3. Chapter 3

**The Dragons' Convention** Chapter 03

"Are there any more questions for our Most Loved dragon?"

"I've got one," called Thorn, from Inheritance. The big red dragon fanned his wings, folded them, and asked, "What's it like to fly at supersonic speeds?"

Toothless looked embarrassed. "Well, to tell the truth, that's nothing but propaganda to impress the humans. I can't fly faster than the speed of sound. Believe me, I've tried."

"But the HTTYD wiki clearly says you can go slightly faster than supersonic!" Glaedr protested.

"Don't believe everything you read in a wiki," Toothless cautioned them. "The fastest bird can manage 105 miles per hour in level flight, and even the fastest diver can manage about 242 miles per hour. The speed of sound is over 760 miles per hour, so the birds aren't even close, and I can't believe I might be over three times as fast as they are. I mean, I'm built for speed, but come on! I've got my legs creating wind resistance, I've got my scaly hide that isn't streamlined, and we won't even talk about all these rings and rods and straps that Hiccup has festooned me with!"

"Where did you get all those numbers?" Spyro asked.

Now Toothless looked even more embarrassed. "I, umm, I got them from a wiki." Several of the dragons snorted, sending puffs of black smoke into the air.

"Okay," Firedrake from "Dragon Rider" said. "Then what _is_ your maximum speed in level flight, and in a dive?"

"Unfortunately, Hiccup hasn't invented the aerial speedometer yet," Toothless answered him. "For now, we'll say that my level-flight speed is 'fast,' and my diving speed is 'faster.' That's the best answer I can give you."

"But what about the title sequence for the CN series?" Stanley Steamer challenged him. "We clearly see you going through the sound barrier. That's what that cone of condensation means, right?"

"Not quite," replied the Night Fury. "They filmed that sequence on a day when the dew point was low, so I could make that effect without actually passing through the sound barrier. It was the same for the 'Test Drive' sequence when contrails come off my wingtips. They arranged it to make me look faster than I really am; then some people who didn't know the facts saw the film and decided I must be going as fast as it looks like." Some of the dragons were shaking their heads in disbelief. "If you don't believe me, then watch the CN titles again and listen for the sonic boom. There isn't one! Believe me, I'd love to be able to fly that fast, but it just isn't going to happen. The humans won't be able to do it until 1947, and they'll need rockets and high-powered turbojets to pull it off. I don't have those."

"High-powered _whats?"_ Ruth asked.

"It's human technology," Jake Long explained. "Basically, they burn stuff, and the fire that comes out can push a machine really, really fast."

"So what's the problem?" Visarion wondered. _"We_ can burn stuff, right?"

"This is special stuff," Jake answered, "and it goes on and on. Human flying machines don't have a shot limit."

"Oh." The idea that humans could find a way to fly faster than dragons didn't sit well with most of them.

"I've got a question," asked Gorbash, from "A Flight of Dragons." "How come you didn't know about your split back spines, and you needed a human to unlock them for you?"

"I'll answer that question as soon as I get a decent answer to an even bigger question," Toothless replied. "How come Valka knew about my split back spines, and she knew that my chin flaps showed my age, even though she'd never seen a Night Fury before, but she didn't know about my retractable teeth?"

"Maybe she's an airhead?" Mushu wondered.

"I rather doubt that," the black dragon said haughtily. "My rider didn't get his brains from his father, so his mother has to be fairly intelligent, at least by human standards."

They were interrupted by the entry of four human males singing about "welcome to the new age" and being radioactive. Like the guitar player before them, they took one look at the dragons, turned, and ran for their lives.

"I thought humans never came to this valley," a Krayt Dragon from "Star Wars" grumbled.

"They were obviously lost," Lockheed said.

"I know who they were," Jake Long explained. "That was a band called Imagine Dragons. I wish they'd stayed; I'd like to get their autographs."

"These human interruptions are getting tired," Saphira fussed. "Who's going to barge in on us next? Peter, Paul and Mary, singing 'Puff the Magic Dragon'?"

"Oh, _please!"_ Falkor exclaimed. _"Anything_ but that!"

"Hey! I like that song!" Puff protested.

"You would," muttered Fin Fang Foom. "It is not wise to go around admitting that you have a fondness for little boys."

"I resemble that remark," Puff snarled. He had a reputation for mildness, but he was a very _big_ dragon, and there was a reason why pirate ships would lower their flags when Puff roared out his name.

Kalessin saw the situation headed out of control, and stepped back to the center of their natural arena. "I think it's time for another question for Toothless," he roared above the tumult, which slowly subsided.

"I've got one," called Zok from the Herculoids. "What's your opinion of all the fan stories where you find another Night Fury?"

"I assume you mean stories where I find a female," Toothless replied, trying to maintain his dignity. "I won't repeat my opinion of those stories where Hiccup turns into a Night Fury and couples with me. There are ladies present." He glanced at Shrek-Dragon and Vermithrax, who both snorted at being called 'ladies.' "As for the stories where I find a female, too many of those are wish-fulfillment stories with a Mary Sue as the lead character. As soon as you see the words 'Light Fury,' run away! There are no white Night Furies, or any other color except basic black."

"You would have liked Henry Ford," Draco said quietly.

"Anyway, if you want to read a decent story where I find a mate, the best one I can recommend is 'Lightning and Death Itself.' The author devoted a whole section of that story to my courtship. He made an OC Night Fury who is a believable character, and we wound up quite happy together, although the path from here to there wasn't an easy one."

"Is that story excellent?" the Reluctant Dragon asked eagerly. "I love a good read!"

"I don't know about excellent," Toothless replied shamelessly, "but the author gave me two baskets full of fish in exchange for me promoting his story whenever I can, and a deal is a deal. Anyway, as far as those stories go, I'm flattered that all those authors want to pair me off with another Night Fury. But I can't help wondering if their priority is my happiness, or the happiness of the OC who rides that other Night Fury and always winds up romantically linked to Hiccup."

"You're quite the cynic, young dragon," Falkor called.

"If you'd dealt with humans as much as I have, you'd be cynical too," Toothless answered him. "You'll never meet another race that's so full of contradictions! Just take my own rider, for example. We met because he shot me down and tried to kill me so he could impress his father and his entire tribe. A few days later, he was risking the anger of his father and his entire tribe to help me fly again, so I wouldn't die. Who among us would change his mind that quickly about something that important?"

" _You_ did!" exclaimed Elliot. "You went from wanting to kill him, to sharing food and letting him ride you, in that same time frame."

"Umm, well, yeah, I guess I did," the Night Fury admitted. "Maybe that's why he's so cynical, too."

"I think it's time for another question," Kalessin interrupted. "Yes, Saphira?"

"Speaking as one who knows a thing or two about sharing a destiny with a human, I'd like to know how you feel about your own shared destiny with Hiccup."

"Shared destiny," Toothless repeated. "Our situation isn't quite the same as yours. Hiccup and I weren't made for each other. It was simple luck that we found each other."

"Or destiny," Saphira cut in.

"Well, it's kind of hard to know about those things in our universe," the black dragon continued. "The Vikings don't have any prophets to foretell that kind of stuff. All I know for sure is this: when we first met, he was a useless, despised member of his tribe, and I was a helpless slave of the queen dragon. We set each other free, in a very real sense. Together, we were free to pursue the excellence that lay inside us, but neither of us could do it without the other. As of the most recent movie, both of us became the Alpha of our respective tribes, and we did it together. If I had a chance to rise to even greater heights without him, I wouldn't take it. I can't imagine how that might work. He's my other half, and I like it that way."

"A reasonable answer," Kalessin nodded. "Destiny is always hard for mortals to figure out, even mortal dragons. You can't truly understand destiny unless you can take a long view of events – no, not you, Jake – and only an immortal can do that."

"So why don't _you_ tell us a few things about our destinies, while we're here?" Saphira challenged him.

"Because that would take all the mystery out of your lives," the ancient dragon replied. "There are some things that you wouldn't want to know, and there are some things that you wouldn't appreciate properly if you knew in advance that they were coming. We immortals bear a heavy burden; we can't say a fraction of what we know, no matter how much we'd love to tell you."

"Doesn't the Dragons' Code say that we should always speak the truth to each other?" Toothless demanded.

"The Code is more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules," Kalessin said with a hint of a smile. "Now I think it's time for another question."

 **o**

 _A/N  
This chapter's questions came from Dragon Lord Draco, ryankrage77, NatBlake, The Crimson Commando, and thearizona. I still have enough questions to write at least one more chapter, but I want to write more than that. Keep 'em coming!_


	4. Chapter 4

**The Dragons' Convention** Chapter 04

"Now I think it's time for another question," Kalessin said.

"There's something I'd like to know," Icarus from Dragon Ball began. He was immediately cut off by Drogon.

"Oh, no, not _another_ small purple dragon! First there was Lockheed, then Spyro, then Spike, and now _you?_ Who invited you guys, anyway? It's getting so I can't take a step around here without squishing a small purple dragon!"

"Maybe it's an Internet meme," Trogdor wondered.

"Some of these guys predate the Internet," H.R. Pufnstuf reminded him.

"Who asked _you,_ weirdo?!" Drogon roared.

"Settle down, big fellow," Kalessin interjected. "All famous dragons are welcome here; we don't discriminate based on color or size."

"But Drogon is right," Smaug exclaimed. "Why is it that so many of the small ones are purple, and almost all of the purple ones are small?"

"Not true," Toothless cut in. "There are quite a few dragons in my universe that are purple and not so small. There are some purple Thunderdrums, there's a purple Hobblegrunt, and –"

"Not valid," Visarion interrupted. "Hobblegrunts can change to any color they want."

"...and there were purple dragon babies in the Bewilderbeast's cave," Toothless went on. "Hiccup rode one back to Berk to set me free. I still don't know how he got that baby to do what he wanted, when babies don't listen to anybody, but he did it, and I'll be forever thankful."

"Babies are small dragons! Duh!" Rhaegal cut him off.

"These baby Scuttleclaws are almost as big as I am," Toothless corrected him.

"Which isn't very big, compared to some of us," Vermithrax sneered.

"Icarus, what was your question?" Kalessin was desperately trying to keep all these belligerent flying reptiles from turning on each other. It wasn't easy.

"Finally! Toothless, how does it feel to be an Alpha dragon?"

"You're asking that because you'll never know how it feels, right?" Visarion said snidely.

" _Enough!"_ Kalessin roared, and silence fell across the great valley. "Toothless, you were saying...?"

"Well, that's kind of a hard question to answer," the Night Fury began. "I mean, I won the position fair and square. But I couldn't have done it without help. The Muddy Bewilderbeast's mistake was to get so focused on me that he let his control of the other dragons lapse. As soon as they could think for themselves again, I invited them to join my side, and that was a no-brainer for any free-thinking dragon! I supplied the willpower, they supplied the firepower... and my human gave me the reason for it all. If it wasn't for him, I might have led the dragons away to someplace safe, and let the humans deal with the Bewilderbeast and his human master. That's assuming I could fly on my own, of course, which I couldn't. But without me, Hiccup can't fly at all. I fought that fight to protect him. Becoming the Alpha was a nice bonus, but that's not why I did it.

"When all those dragons bowed before me, that was one of the two greatest moments of my life so far. But now, reality has set in, and being the Alpha isn't all it's cracked up to be. I can't feed all those dragons, the way the Bewilderbeast did. I can't even go flying with them unless my human goes with me. I may be the best fighter in the nest, and I may be the best leader, but there are things that an Alpha is supposed to do for his dragons that I just can't do."

"Does that mean you're going to step down?" Spyro asked.

"Not unless a better Alpha comes along," Toothless answered without hesitation. "The nest needs a leader, even if that leader isn't perfect for the job. I won't let anarchy happen; the dragons deserve better than that, and if order broke down in the nest, it would spill over into the Viking village, and that would probably mean another war. That is _not_ going to happen on _my_ watch! The Alpha protects them all."

"Couldn't that Cloudjumper dude do the job?" Mushu wondered. "He's big and impressive, right?"

"He probably could do it if he wanted to," the Night Fury replied, "but he's been a second-in-command all his life. I don't think he wants the top spot. He's comfortable helping the dragons and flying with his own favorite human. Maybe, if there was a leadership vacuum, he'd step in, but I'm not going to gamble the whole nest on a 'maybe' like that."

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Mushu went on. "Speakin' of big and impressive, how did it feel to take out dragons that are way bigger than you are? Was it a crowning moment of awesome?"

"Ummm... yes and no," Toothless answered. "I personally hated the Red Death because she forced me, and a lot of other good dragons, to fight the Vikings and steal their food when we had no quarrel with them. Never mind the threat of being eaten alive if we didn't deliver, which was always a problem for a dragon who never steals food. When the big battle happened, as soon as I knew Hiccup was out of the water and okay, I was all 'let's go get her!' and he was right there with me. Flying through the sea stacks was his idea; I guess he thought the Red Death would get stuck, and that would end the battle. When that didn't work, I got a little nervous. I didn't know why he wanted us to disappear in the clouds, but he had a plan and I didn't, so I went along with it. Then I figured out what he wanted to do, and except for one scary moment during that last dive, I had it under control.

"But I didn't get to enjoy our victory. No sooner did the Red Death explode than Hiccup got knocked off my back, and I had to dive into the fire to save him, and make a very painful crash-landing without letting him get hurt any worse. Then I had to face his father, who wanted me dead right up until that moment. Then there was all that time I spent by Hiccup's bedside, asking him to wake up, wake up, _please_ wake up! When he finally did, that was the other greatest moment of my life. So I didn't get much pleasure out of killing the Red Death. There are too many bad memories attached to that battle.

"Stopping the Muddy Bewilderbeast... that was different. That thing enslaved my mind and forced me to kill Hiccup's father. It was sheer luck that I didn't kill Hiccup instead. I hated that dragon with a double hate, because of what he did to me and what he tried to make me do to my human. And when he tried to freeze Hiccup, that was the last straw.

"If I could have taken that thing down by myself, I would have. I would have killed him if I could. I'm not sorry that the other dragons helped; I probably couldn't have done it without them. But they did it mostly out of hate for the Bewilderbeast, not out of love for me. I did it for Hiccup. I think he knew that; I was almost out of control with rage, but he sat on my back, unafraid, because he knew that my rage wasn't aimed at him."

"He was either very brave or very foolish," Thorn commented.

"Or both," Draco added.

"It could be both," Toothless agreed. "A dragon's rage isn't something to take lightly, even for another dragon." The dragons who were best known for their rage – Smaug, Vermithrax, and Drogon – all nodded as they finally found something where they and Toothless agreed. He went on, "But when I saw the Muddy bow before me and then swim away, I had two thoughts. One was 'Hiccup is safe now,' and the other was 'I think I might be awesome.' I've since learned that the Muddy wants a rematch, with no humans and no other dragons around. But he can't give me a good reason why I should run a risk like that. Beating him a second time wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as beating him the first time, because it wouldn't mean anything if I wasn't protecting Hiccup. I took him down once, and I'm happy with that."

"An interesting answer," Kalessin nodded. "Spike, did you have a question?"

A Hungarian Horntail from "Harry Potter" muttered, "If he so much as _mentions_ those insipid ponies, I'm going to throw up."

"What do you have against ponies?" Drogon whispered. "I'll bet they're delicious."

Either Spike didn't hear them, or he chose to ignore them. "You've told us a lot about Hiccup. I'm wondering if you have any opinions about the other humans you have to deal with."

"Do I have opinions?" Toothless grinned. "Brace yourselves, because you're going to get an earful!

"I'll start with the twins, because they're the only ones who haven't ridden me. I have to hand it to Barf and Belch – they have more patience with those clowns than I could ever manage. Even they get fed up and blast that pair now and then, and I always want to shout, 'Hit 'em again! Hit 'em again!' The girl has actually had her moments, like when she sang for that Scauldron while we were rescuing him, but the guy? Useless."

"What do you expect from the comic relief?" Firedrake asked.

"Not much, and he never disappoints me," Toothless replied. "Then there's Snotlout. He and Hookfang are a perfect match for each other; neither one ever does what he's told, unless he's run out of ways to do it wrong. I let him ride me during that Outcast-Island adventure because he was making a half-hearted attempt to help Hiccup; no other reason. He's caused more problems than he's solved, and both my life and Hiccup's life would be a lot simpler if Snotlout ran away and joined the Berserkers or something. I haven't got a bit of use for him.

"Fishlegs... I guess he's okay. The other humans treat him like he's kind of weird; I don't know what humans consider 'weird,' so I can't pass judgment. He rode me when his Gronckle went out of control, and he wasn't heavy-handed on the tail pedals, and that's a point in his favor. He's definitely been a help to Hiccup many times, so I guess he's okay in my book."

Mushu couldn't believe that. "The dude lets a Gronckle lick his feet in the morning, and you think he's okay?"

"Not that there's anything _wrong_ with that," Shrek-Dragon added.

"I lick Hiccup's face and his clothing, even though I _know_ that doesn't wash out, and no one thinks there's anything weird about _that,"_ Toothless retorted.

"Speak for yourself," Falkor muttered.

"Then there's Stoick," the Night Fury went on. "He and I didn't exactly get off to a good start together –"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Saphira said quietly.

"– but we found one thing in common," Toothless continued. "We both cared deeply about Hiccup. I never completely trusted the man, but I couldn't hate him when we had that common ground. Someone drew a picture of me standing next to Stoick's grave, saying, 'Thank you for saving my human,' and I don't think I can add anything to that." He took a deep breath to steady himself.

"Gobber? The man's a dragon-fighter through and through. He gets along well with Grump, and they say he's a fairly good dragon dentist, but I don't trust him. If the dragon wars broke out again, he'd go from pulling teeth to throwing axes in a heartbeat. I know he would."

"Do you trust him with your teeth?" Puff asked him.

"Not on your life!" the Night Fury burst out. "I've avoided seeing him professionally because, well, I'm toothless, right? Besides, who actually _wants_ to go see the dentist? The reality is that, when I retract my teeth and pop them out again, it causes a natural toothbrushing effect, so my teeth stay clean and healthy. I don't _need_ a dragon dentist.

"Then there's Valka. _That's_ a complicated relationship to talk about! When we first met, I was ready to kill her if she threatened Hiccup, and she used some kind of trick to knock me silly. Ten minutes later, she was talking dragon baby-talk to me, and I was rolling all around her like some kind of delirious puppy, and I don't know how she did _that_ to me, either. But Cloudjumper spoke well of her, she showed me how my back spines can separate, and she definitely made Hiccup happy, so I made the choice to trust her. She's been faithful to that trust, and she still makes Hiccup happy.

"And that brings me to the most complicated human I know, aside from Hiccup himself. That's Astrid. Sometimes I wonder if the girl is half-dragon. She's got a temper that any dragon would be proud of. I mean, Hiccup just came back from the dead at the end of the first movie, and what was the first thing she did? She hit him! ' _That's_ for scaring me,' she said! If I'd been Hiccup, I would have hit her right back and said, 'And _that's_ for being a self-centered, heartless little –' "

"Female dog!" Elliot shouted, drowning out whatever Toothless really said.

The black dragon went on, "Honestly, I don't know much about human courtship, but I don't think that's how it's done. I really wonder what Hiccup sees in her! Of course, if his only choices are her and Ruffnut, then I understand. But Heather is cute and clever and strong-willed, so she could make him happy, and we won't even talk about the hundreds of gorgeous Mary Sues and other OC's who throw themselves at him on a daily basis. He's not stuck with Astrid. Yet she often makes him happy, and at the end of the day, that's what I care about the most. If he's happy with her, then I'm happy with her. I hope they mate soon. Maybe they'll let me watch."

"Uhh, Toothless," Kalessin rumbled. Toothless ignored him.

"Of course, maybe they already _did_ mate, and they just didn't tell me about it. But Astrid hasn't laid any eggs, so I'm pretty sure they haven't taken that step yet. I don't know what they're waiting for; historically, Viking girls would marry between the ages of 12 and 15."

"Toothless, I think I need to explain some things to you about humans," Kalessin tried again.

"Not in front of the children!" Draco called. He covered Spike's eyes with his wings.

Kalessin leaned over and began whispering in Toothless' ears. After a few seconds, the Night Fury's face resembled his expression when Hiccup first attached his new tail. "Get out!" he exclaimed. "No way! That can't be right! Are you sure?"

"Quite sure," the ancient dragon replied. "They don't do things like we do at all."

"Whoa," Toothless said, very quietly. "I think I just threw up in my mouth. Speaking of which, after the humans 'have' these 'babies,' do they feed them regurgitated fish like we do?"

"Umm... no." Kalessin whispered in his ear some more. Toothless' mouth fell open again.

"And Hiccup and Astrid would do all that... willingly? Eww! Somebody ask me another question, _please!"_

The Hungarian Horntail stood up on his hind legs. "If you were forced into a position where you had to choose between all the dragons on one hand, or Hiccup on the other hand, which would you choose?"

After thinking for a few seconds, Toothless said, "I think I'd just curl up and die. The Alpha protects them all; that's a sacred trust that every Alpha knows and takes seriously. But Hiccup is Hiccup. I don't think I could make a choice like that. I can't imagine who would be cruel enough to put me in that position."

"What if DreamWorks did it?" the Horntail asked.

"Then I'd call my agent and tell him to get me out of my contract with DreamWorks," Toothless retorted. "If that didn't work, then I'd trust Hiccup to find a way for me to do both things at once, so I didn't have to choose. He's very clever, you know, and he's good at coming up with plans. Between the two of us, I'm sure we could find a way to solve even a problem like that one."

"But what if he couldn't?" the Horntail persisted.

"I'm sure we can play 'what if' all day long," Kalessin interrupted, "but I think some other dragons have questions for Toothless. Yes, Shenron?"

The long green Dragon Ball dragon rose up. "I'd really like to know how you got voted Most Loved and I didn't. I mean, you saved a Viking tribe several times, but I saved the entire _universe_ several times! What's up with that?"

"Envy doesn't look good on you, Shenron," Kalessin said quietly.

"No, I have a serious concern here," the green dragon retorted. "Toothless has already admitted he took a bribe in exchange for promoting the author's story. I want to know if he bribed the judges of the Most Loved competition somehow."

Toothless crouched, snarled, and bared his teeth. "How _dare_ you!"

Smaug shrugged. "It sounds like a valid question."

"He wouldn't do that!" Elliot protested.

"I might, if I was in his paws," Saphira came back.

"I'd think about it, if it meant I could make a comeback," H.R. Pufnstuf said thoughtfully.

"I'd bribe the judges to _keep_ you from making a comeback!" Draco nearly shouted.

"I'd supply the bribe money for that!" Mushu added.

"Everybody settle down!" Kalessin roared. "Toothless, can you give an honest answer to Shenron's question?"

The Night Fury slowly relaxed from his aggressive posture. "Okay, it's like this. Shenron, you're an all-powerful elemental dragon, you make wishes come true if the Dragon Balls are all together... saving the universe is no big deal to you. It's what you do. I think it's in your job description – 'must be willing to save the universe when wished to do so.' People would think there was something wrong if you _didn't_ save the universe.

"Me? I'm a Night Fury. Yes, I'm the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself, but I don't have any mystical powers. Nobody's scouring the galaxy for Dragon Balls so _I'll_ grant them a wish. I'm just a dragon. For me to save a Viking village... and my rider's life, and the lives of all the other dragons as well... that's kind of a big deal.

"Besides, you've got that glowing-red-eyes thing going, and... I'll be honest, that isn't very lovable. When I make the round puppy-dog eyes, half the movie audience melts into puddles of WAFF. Being Most Loved isn't just about the things you do; it's also about your image. You've got 'intimidating' down pat, but you've got a long way to go on 'lovable'."

"You didn't bribe the judges?" Shenron asked humbly.

"No, I didn't," Toothless said firmly. "I didn't have to. There's one more aspect to being Most Loved that no one has mentioned yet. Overall popularity has a lot to do with it, but the other half of that equation is, 'How much are you loved by the one who loves you most?' Some dragons are very popular, but they aren't especially loved by anyone at all. Hiccup loves me more than any other being in his life – more than Astrid, more than his mother or father, more than anyone. I firmly believe that's the main reason I won this award. Saphira, you're closer than you think, because of your relationship with Eragon. There are others among you who are quite beloved by one or two people, and that can be just as important as being adored by the masses."

Puff looked distraught. "You mean, if Jackie Paper hadn't grown up and bailed out on me, _I_ could have been Most Loved?"

"It could have happened," Kalessin said, as kindly as he could. "I know your song went a lot higher on the charts than 'Where No One Goes,' and we all know how Jackie felt about you once."

"Now I feel even worse," Puff muttered as he sadly slipped into his cave.

"That didn't end well," the Reluctant Dragon said.

Kalessin looked out across the dragons. "Saphira, do you have another question?"

"Yes," the beautiful blue dragon replied. "Toothless, if Hiccup built you another tail fin that let you fly solo, but also came with a saddle so he could fly with you, would you keep it, or would you destroy it like the other one?"

"I'd keep it," the Night Fury said without hesitation. "Not just because Hiccup could still fly with me, but because my situation has changed. I'm an Alpha now. Like I said earlier, it bothers me that I can't fly with my dragons at will. If Hiccup made me a tail like that, I could fulfill my obligations as the Alpha, and still go on crazy flights with my human. It would be the best of both worlds. In fact, there's a story out there, called –"

"No, _please,_ don't tell us to read _another_ story by your favorite author!" Mnementh protested. The big bronze Pernese dragon wasn't known for being easy-going.

"Different author this time," Toothless smiled. "This story is by ElfPen, and it's called 'You Can Thank Me Later.' It shows what might happen if I had a flying rig like the one you describe. It's a short story, and a good one to read if you're in a bad mood and need cheering up."

"What if he'd made a tail like that on your first Snoggletog together?" Saphira asked. "Would you have destroyed that one?"

"I don't know," he replied slowly. "I really wanted to get across to him how strongly I felt the bond between us. I really don't know how I'd answer that. All I know for sure is, I've never regretted doing what I did."

"These are all good questions," Kalessin nodded. "Who else has a question for our favorite Night Fury?"

 **o**

 _A/N  
This chapter's questions came from midnightsky0612, thearizona, a guest, Guardian of Azarath, Splendidguy44, JemDragons, and dracologistmaster. I still have enough questions to write at least one or two more chapters, but I want to write more than that. Keep 'em coming!_


	5. Chapter 5

**The Dragons' Convention** Chapter 05

"Who else has a question for our favorite Night Fury?" Kalessin asked.

"I have a question." That was Ancalagon the Black, one of the biggest of them all. When he spoke, every other dragon listened (if he knew what was good for him). "Where did a tiny dragon like you get the power to defeat the Muddy Bewilderbeast?"

"Are you afraid he'll use that power on you?" Smaug said smugly.

"I'll ignore that out of professional courtesy, little worm, nothing more," Ancalagon growled. "Toothless, how did you do it?"

"That's kind of a compound question, because it calls for a compound answer," Toothless replied easily. "What some human fans call 'Alpha Mode' or 'God Mode' had three components: I had to break the Muddy's control over the other dragons, I had to call them to take my side, and I had to shoot the big guy's tusk off. The Muddy made the first one possible by fixating on me, to the exclusion of all else. I guess he'd never had to face a dragon that wouldn't obey him before, and he didn't have a back-up plan for dealing with me, except to freeze me, and I kept him too off-balance to take another shot like that. He zeroed in on me and forgot about keeping control over the other dragons, and they shook off his control because no dragon likes to be controlled. So I didn't have much to do with that part.

"The second part, calling them to join me, was the easy part. Like I said earlier, they had a simple choice – freedom or slavery – and they chose to fight for their own freedom. When they were all arrayed on my side, and the Muddy and his human still wouldn't back down, I just said, 'Let 'em have it!' and they did. For them, it was payback. I think some of them actually enjoyed it.

"The third part, breaking his tusk, wasn't that big a deal. Compared to the firepower it took to break me and Hiccup out of the ice, the tusk shot was almost hatchling's play. Remember, I was doing it all to protect my human, not because I wanted power. That motivated me more than usual, and I think it motivated me more than the Muddy. But the bottom line is that I didn't beat him because I'm awesome, even though I am. I beat him because he got sloppy, and because he ticked me off in the worst way imaginable: by threatening my human. That's like threatening a mother dragon's hatchlings – you just don't _do_ that if you want to live!"

"Is that something that any Night Fury can do?" Ancalagon pressed him.

"It's something any Night Fury can do if they're close friends with a human who's under attack," Toothless answered. "It's not about the species; it's about the relationship."

"Could Stormfly or Hookfang have done it if their riders were threatened?" Glaurung wanted to know.

"Hookfang? Not a chance," the Night Fury responded. "The relationship isn't there. Hookfang views his rider as more of an amusement than as the other half of himself. They have their moments, and they've both risked their lives for each other, but I don't think he could reach the level of rage that would lead him to confront a Bewilderbeast. He'd be more likely to grab his rider and take him away to safety, and let the rest of the dragons fend for themselves. As for Stormfly, I know she loves her rider and would risk anything for her, but I'm not sure she has the strength of will to call all the other dragons to her side. She and Astrid would probably have died together, instead of triumphing together. The same with Fishlegs and Meatlug. I'm not saying this to be cruel; I'm led to understand that this would be a very Viking-like way to go. As for Barf and Belch, I'm really not sure how it would play out if their riders were threatened. Of course, that's not saying much, because no one can predict _anything_ about that foursome."

"Good answer," Kalessin nodded. "Was there another question? Yes, Reluctant?"

The Reluctant Dragon bounced up and down and clapped his hands in delight at being called on. "I'd like to know what your favorite memory with Hiccup is, after killing the Red Death."

"For starters, killing the Red Death is not a pleasant memory," Toothless began. "As I said earlier, when I think of that event, I think of my human almost dying, not the glories of battle. As for my favorite memory... hmmm, let me think... can I answer that in more than one way?

"Definitely on my short list of favorite memories is the moment when I was losing my fight against the Whispering Death, and Hiccup leaped off the cliff. In that instant, he re-clarified what really matters to me. I was doing the same thing that the Muddy Bewilderbeast did – I was focusing on the battle in front of me and forgetting the big picture, to the point of putting Hiccup behind me. When he forced me to save him, he saved me at the same time. He said something similar, but he meant saving me from losing my battle. The thing he really saved me from was losing _him_. Then he reinforced it by showing me how to win my battle with his help, and subtly reminding me that, together, we're unstoppable. I'm still not sure if letting that underground dragon go was wise; I sometimes wonder if he's going to come back for me again some day. But that's a small price to pay for the absolute sureness that my human will be with me, no matter what.

"The other really big moment was when I defeated the Muddy Bewilderbeast, and then realized that Hiccup was riding me through the second half of the battle. That huge dragon was trying to encase me in ice again, or bash me with his tusks, or do me serious hurt in any way he could... and Hiccup stayed right there with me. I don't think it was because he thought I'd need to fly, because I got through the first part of the battle without him and without flying. It was because he totally trusted me to keep him safe. Even though I was right on the edge of losing control with rage at that Muddy, Hiccup knew that my rage would never be aimed at him. He trusted me. That was awesome."

"Speaking of that," Visarion spoke up, "there was a time when your rage _was_ aimed at him. You killed Stoick instead. What was that like?"

Toothless hung his head. "I'd really rather not talk about that. Can I answer a different question instead?"

Visarion started to protest, but Kalessin held up a paw. "He has the right to not answer if a question makes him uncomfortable."

"But I'd really like to know," the gold-colored dragon protested.

"I think the fact that he's unwilling to talk about it should be all the answer you need. Did someone else have a question? Yes, Glaedr?"

"I have a simple question," the bigger golden dragon said. "Why are we wasting time on these silly questions when we could be doing something much more productive?"

"Are you in a hurry, bro?" Mushu asked. "Are you tryin' to get a _leg_ up on the competition or something?" Glaedr snarled and almost breathed fire at him; the little Asian dragon jumped aside, just in case.

Kalessin stepped in. "The reason we're doing this, Glaedr, is because we're showing honor to a dragon who deserves it."

"Then why didn't we do the same thing for Drogon, the other award-winner?" the golden one demanded.

"I asked them not to," Drogon answered firmly. "I don't like being the center of attention unless I'm in control."

Kalessin nodded, then turned with a scowl on his huge face. "Mushu, if you keep making comments like that, I cannot guarantee your safety. Do you have anything constructive to say?"

"Constructive? Yeah, constructive! Toothless, I wanna know how much they paid you to eat an eel in that episode, 'The Eel Effect.' I hope it was more than just two baskets full of fish!"

Toothless made a face. "You don't seriously think I actually ate an eel, do you? I mean, think of the fuss that the animal-rights activists would make when they found out about it!"

"I didn't think they cared about dragons," Falkor commented.

"They don't," the Night Fury nodded, "but they probably care a lot about eels. I mean, these are the people who splashed around in a river during a fishing derby to scare the fish away from the anglers! If they found out that I ate a live eel on-camera, they'd probably have a cow."

"Do they care about cows?" Draco asked.

"I care about cows!" Rhaegal exclaimed. "Especially when they're cooked medium-well, with a few fried chickens on the side... yum!"

"And the bacon! Don't forget the bacon!" the Krayt Dragon shouted. Many of the others licked their chops and nodded in agreement.

"Anyway," Toothless went on, "that was a CG eel that got added in post-production. I had to eat a real fish and cough it up for realism, but that was no problem – I do that all the time with Hiccup. He shared a bite with me once, and I'm going to keep doing it until he shares another bite with me. One of these days, he'll get the idea."

"I think Spyro has a question," Kalessin observed.

"We dragons live a lot longer than humans do," Spyro began. "If you outlive Hiccup, will you allow his son or daughter to be your next rider?"

"I just don't want to think about that," Toothless said, with a hint of sadness. "I know the day will come when I'll know how Puff the Magic Dragon feels, and I'm doing everything in my power to keep that day at a distance. After that... I'll probably want a human companion, because I've gotten so used to one, never mind the fact that I'll probably still need one to fly. It will depend on what Hiccup's children turn out like. If they're typical Vikings, I'll pass; the fact that they're the son or the daughter of Hiccup won't be enough if that's all they've got. I'll need someone who can look at me and see himself, or herself, the way Hiccup did. I could never be satisfied with just a rider. I'd want a friend."

"These are all fine questions," Kalessin said. "Well, almost all of them. Who's next?"

 **o**

 _A/N  
This chapter's questions came from Sousuke Tenki, movielover48, lauralkelley99, NatBlake, The Crimson Commando, and dracologistmaster. I have enough questions left (plus a few of my own) to write one more chapter. If you send more questions, I can write more chapters. But please stay away from "what if" questions that are never going to happen, and stick to stuff that a black dragon would actually know about._


	6. Chapter 6

**The Dragons' Convention** Chapter 6

It was H.R. Pufnstuf's turn to ask a question. "Toothless, how many times have you saved Hiccup's skin since you were together?"

"Does that even matter?" Toothless replied dismissively. "I've saved him a bunch of times, and he's saved me a few times as well. I choose not to keep score, because when you start keeping score in a relationship, that makes things go sour. I'd start thinking, 'He owes me one,' instead of focusing on the good parts of our friendship. All that matters is that I'm always there for him, and he's always there for me."

"But you admit you've probably saved him more than he's saved you?" the yellow-and-green dragon pressed him.

"Of course! I'm a dragon; he's a human," the Night Fury answered, as though the answer was obvious. "Soft pink creatures who can't fly or breathe fire are always going to need extra help. That doesn't bother me in the slightest. I mean, back when you were famous, you helped Jimmy a lot more than he helped you, right?" He glanced toward the cave where Puff was still sulking. "The big guy there gave Jackie Paper a lot more than he got, too. That's how it is with us dragons. When we fight humans, we almost always win. And when we make friends with humans, we still come out on top. But it's not about the score; it's about the friendship."

"I can live with that answer," Pufnstuf nodded and sat down.

Now the Fatalis from "Monster Hunter" raised a wing. "What was it like being the infamous 'unholy offspring of lightning and death itself' back during the war? Do you miss being such a feared and legendary dragon?"

"Well, I didn't hear much of the Vikings' propaganda about me," Toothless began. "They never invited me to their Mead Hall meetings so I could hear what they really thought about me. All I heard was, 'Night Fury! Get down!' and I'd think, 'You'd _better_ get down, you bipedal barbarians!' When the other dragons talked about hand-to-claw combat, I had nothing to add because I never gave the humans a chance to fight me that way. So I really didn't know anything about being feared and legendary. I was just doing my job for the nest. To be honest, I thought the other dragons were more fearsome than me because they faced off against the Vikings and all their weapons. To me, _that_ was brave. Shooting out those big, clumsy catapults... that took skill, but not much courage. I know the other dragons appreciated it, but _they_ never called me fearsome or legendary."

"You never had a clue what the humans thought of you?" the Fatalis wondered.

"Oddly, the first clue I got was when I saved Hiccup from the Nightmare in the ring," Toothless replied. "The Vikings swarmed into the ring to try and take me prisoner, and I remember thinking, 'Does it take that many Vikings to pin down one Night Fury?' I gave them a good fight, and I might have won if Hiccup hadn't begged me to stop. But when I saw all those humans rushing at me with hate and fear in their eyes, it kind of opened _my_ eyes to what they thought about me. Aside from Hiccup, these were the first humans I'd been face-to-face with, and if they hadn't been so intent on capturing me and taking my human away, I might have been fascinated by their reaction. But they kind of spoiled that."

"Humans are good at spoiling things," Vermithrax rumbled. Many of the other dragons nodded in agreement, especially Smaug.

Toothless went on. "So I guess the answer to the question, 'Do I miss being awesome?' is 'I never knew I was awesome back then, so I don't miss it.' Of course, I'm still as awesome as I ever was. I just don't have the reputation for it anymore, and frankly, I don't care about that. I know what I am, Hiccup knows what I am, and no one else's opinion matters to me." He made a face that suggested that any debate on the subject was already over.

"Next question?" Kalessin asked. "Yes, Firnen?

The green dragon hesitated. "Maybe this is a personal question, but... what are you looking for in a female Night Fury, assuming you could find one?"

"Yes, it's personal," Toothless nodded, "but I don't mind answering. For starters, forget all those fan-art red Furies, and white Furies, and half-shark Furies, and glow-in-the-dark Furies, and all those other ridiculous variants. I want a Night Fury just like the Night Fury who mated with dear old Dad. Black!"

"Are you some kind of racist?" asked Haku from "Spirited Away."

"No, it's just that Night Furies are supposed to be black. We fly at night, remember? Those bright colors and luminous patches would make us stand out like a sore paw. But what really matters in a female is what she's like on the inside. Mostly, she has to be willing to get onto a day schedule so she can go flying with me and Hiccup, and she has to be willing to accept my rider as a part of our team."

"Wouldn't it be awkward, bringin' your human along on a mating flight?" Mushu wondered.

"Only you would ask a question like that!" Lockheed snapped.

"I'm hoping and assuming that Hiccup can make me a fly-alone tail by the time I'm ready to think about mating flights," Toothless went on. "I think Hiccup would find it just as awkward as I would, and he'd move heaven and earth to stay out of it."

"Would it solve the problem if this female Night Fury had a female rider who paired off with your human?" Saphira asked.

"No, that would make things worse," Toothless said after thinking it over for a second. "My human already has a female in mind, and that female rides a Nadder, not a Night Fury. Adding another female to the mix could be very unpleasant for all of them. I think." He turned to Kalessin. "Humans are monogamous, right?"

"They're supposed to be," the ancient dragon nodded, "but sometimes they slip up a little. Actually, some of them slip up a lot."

Toothless shook his head. "I don't think Hiccup will be one of those. But it's best to prevent that kind of problem before it starts. Hiccup can do his thing with his mate, and I'll do my thing with my mate, and never the twain shall meet."

"Never the what?" Smaug asked.

"Oh, that's a poetic expression," the Reluctant Dragon explained. "It means the two will never get together."

"Then why not just say that?" Smaug asked, irritated. Kalessin saw his temper rising and moved to cut it off.

"Does someone else have a question for Toothless? Yes, Ord?"

The blue "Dragon Tales" veteran asked, "Toothless, would you like to be able to talk to Hiccup, either through speech or thought?"

"Thought? Forget it!" Toothless said firmly. "I don't know where anybody got the idea that telepathy would be a good thing. I mean, would you want your every thought broadcast to everyone nearby who felt like receiving it? It would be a nonstop invasion of privacy, and I wouldn't like that, not even with Hiccup. My favorite fanfic author wrote a story called 'Do You Mind?' that explains exactly what it would be like, and it wouldn't be pretty.

"As for speech, yes, it would be convenient if we could talk to each other. But we've done okay so far without speech, so I don't lose any sleep over our communication skills. He can usually get his ideas across to me, and vice-versa."

Ord's friend Cassie stood up. "Does Hiccup's inability to speak dragon ever lead to problems?"

Toothless thought for a moment. "The problem isn't that he doesn't _speak_ dragon. It's that, sometimes, he doesn't _think_ dragon. Take that time when he brought home a baby Typhoomerang. I did my best to tell him it was a really bad idea, and he knew that's what I was trying to tell him. He just didn't want to hear it, because he thought I was being jealous!" He shook his head in disgust. "It wasn't a communication failure, it was just a stubborn human who wouldn't take a hint. We've had other episodes like that as well. And I admit there have been a couple of times when he's gotten a message across but I didn't want to hear it, like when I was fighting the Whispering Death. It's no different from dragon couples, and it's probably no different from human couples. The problem isn't that we don't communicate; it's that we don't relate. Any two intelligent beings are going to have that problem, and a common language won't make it go away. So the language gap isn't that serious a problem in the grand scheme of things. I'm content with the way things are."

"Well put, Toothless," Kalessin agreed. "Yes, Mnementh?"

The huge bronze dragon nodded. "I wish to know why you keep licking Hiccup's clothes when you _know_ that doesn't wash out."

Toothless smiled. "Three reasons. One, his leather coat has a nice salty taste. Two, it's fun to watch him squirm sometimes. And three, I'm trying to protect him. He's always running into unfamiliar dragons who don't know that he's a dragon-friend. Sometimes I'm not there to explain things for him. So I'm fixing it so his clothes smell like a dragon. The idea is that, if he runs into a hostile dragon, that dragon will smell dragon-spit all over him, and that will make him hesitate long enough for Hiccup to do his tricks with his fire-stick and make a new friend. It's a good thing that it _doesn't_ wash out; if it did, it would ruin my whole plan."

"Interesting," Kalessin nodded. "I think the Krayt Dragon has a question."

"Won't your tail grow back?" the big Star Wars dragon asked. "I mean, we're reptiles, right? Many reptiles can easily grow back lost limbs and body parts over time, and I can't see it taking more than 5 or 10 percent of your lifespan to heal up that tailfin there."

Toothless looked thoughtful. "For one thing, no one seems to know my lifespan, so if I'm going to live 400 years, then it would take 20 to 40 years to regenerate, and it's only been five years since I lost my tail fin. So maybe it's working and we just haven't noticed yet. But, more likely, dragons don't regenerate at all. There's at least one other dragon here who can bear witness to that." He shot a quick glance at Glaedr, not wanting to antagonize the bigger dragon if he was sensitive about his missing leg. "Yes, we're reptiles, but we're also warm-blooded, and I guess that changes things. We're tough, and we can recover from horrible injuries, but regrowing something that's not there anymore? Not so much."

"I admit, I don't fully know the answer to that question myself," Kalessin said. "Who else has a question for our Night Fury guest?"

 **o**

 _A/N  
Do you have a question for our Night Fury guest? Please keep them kid-friendly, and avoid "what-if" questions that will never happen. I've still got a few more questions on file, but not enough to make another chapter. The more questions you send, the longer this story will be! This chapter's questions were submitted by The Crimson Commando, Cottonmouth25, AnonFanboy, Dinode, Cke1st (that's me), and Drunken Hamster._


	7. Chapter 7

**The Dragons' Convention** Chapter 07

"I've got a question!" the Reluctant Dragon exclaimed, waving his hand.

"Oh, not _another_ completely irrelevant question," Smaug muttered. Reluctant didn't hear him.

"When you ate that algae – you know, the stuff that the Frightmare likes – what did it taste like?"

Toothless licked his chops. "Oh, _that_ was some seriously good stuff! It was savory and provocative, with a slightly smoky bouquet, layers of cherry and seasoned mutton, and an aftertaste reminiscent of avocado with a touch of oregano."

The Reluctant Dragon scowled. "You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"Seriously, it wasn't very appealing," Toothless went on. "I ate it because I was curious; I figured, if one dragon liked it, then it must be good, right? Wrong. My system is made for eating fish, and I think that includes my taste buds. I mean, it wasn't gross or disgusting, but it's not something I'd ever want to eat again. Besides, it lit me up like a Fireworm, and that's bad for a dragon who's supposed to be invisible at night."

"Maybe it's an acquired taste," Ruth suggested.

"Then the Frightmare can acquire it! All of it!" the black dragon retorted. "Frighty, if you're listening, then as far as I'm concerned, you can have _all_ the algae. I gave it up for Ascent, and I never took it back."

"Ascent?" Trogdor wondered. "Don't you mean Lent?"

"The dragons of Berk don't celebrate that holiday," the Night Fury said firmly. "We ascend and descend in the air, so we have two holidays, Ascent on the day when the sun is highest in the sky, and Descent when the sun is lowest."

"And what do you do on those holidays?" Ord wanted to know.

"We fly, eat, and sleep," Toothless replied. "Except for the Gronckles and the Hotburples, who celebrate those holidays their own way; they sleep, fly, and eat. That's different from ordinary days, when we eat, sleep, and fly. Nothing really changes, but it's fun to make one day special now and then. The Vikings do it all the time; they'll make up any excuse to get drunk, sing battle songs, spill ale all over the floor, get into fist fights, and pass out before they can draw their weapons. I'll take the dragon version any day."

Kalessin pointed with a wing. "I think Spike has a question?"

"Yes," said the little purple dragon. "I'd like to know if you think you're the cutest dragon ever?"

Another little purple dragon, Spyro, nodded firmly. "Yeah! What do you say to people who think you look more like a cute little puppy than a terrifying dragon?"

"I say _this!"_ Toothless responded with a vicious, toothy snarl; Spike backed off a step, while Spyro braced himself for an attack. But there was no attack. Toothless relaxed and assumed his normal expression. "I can make cute faces when I want to," he began, "and sometimes it's to my advantage. But that isn't the real 'me.' I'm the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself, remember? Those fangirls who want to turn me into a black, winged teddy bear are totally missing the point. The thing that makes me awesome, and which makes my friendship with Hiccup awesome, is that I'm a night-flying death-dealer who _chooses_ to be Hiccup's friend. I'm kind to other Vikings for Hiccup's sake, not because I've been tamed and I've gotten all the violence out of my system." He pulled himself into a regal-looking pose. "I am a Night Fury! I am _not_ a Chihuahua! I am not a pet, or a domesticated animal! Don't ever forget that."

"Speaking of domesticated animals," Tabaluga cut in, "what do you think of animals like those?"

"What do I think of them?" Toothless seemed confused for a moment. "Well, they have their uses, I guess. Stormfly thinks the chickens are great, although I don't see the appeal. There are days when I wonder why the Vikings don't get rid of all that livestock and focus on us dragons instead. After all, you don't see the Vikings doing yak racing, or starting a Sheep Training Academy. But then I remind myself that the Vikings need milk and wool, and dragons aren't so good at making those things. We're even less good at making steak and bacon." At the mention of the word "bacon," most of the dragons began to salivate.

"Anyway," Toothless continued, "I don't see the other animals as competition. None of them could ever compete with a dragon anyway!" That brought a few roars of approval from the other dragons.

"Well said," nodded Kalessin. "Zak and Wheezie, did you have a question?"

"No, we were just stretching," Wheezie answered.

"But I think Jake has a question," Zak added.

Jake Long nodded. "I hope this isn't a painful question, but do you know what happened to your parents?"

"Of course I do," Toothless replied casually. "Lightning is in Tampa Bay, Florida, playing hockey for the NHL, and death itself is attending a death-metal concert in Stockholm." He paused; no one reacted. "Well, _somebody_ would have smiled if _Hiccup_ had said something like that! Anyway, I know that's not what you meant. I never met my father, and my mother sent me away in my third year, as soon as I could take care of myself, so the humans wouldn't get a chance to kill both of us at once. I never saw her again. I have no idea if either of them is alive or... or not."

"Would you like to try and find them some day?" Jake wondered.

"If I had any clue where to look, then yes," the Night Fury said. "We – I mean Hiccup and I – thought we found a clue once, but it turned out to be an Outcast trap, so we're going to be _very_ careful if we find another clue. But in the meantime, I'm content with my human. He's all the family I need."

"Okay, next question," Kalessin cut in. "The sun is starting to go down, so we need to wrap this up."

"Why?" Toothless asked. "What's the hurry? Do you think I can't function at night or something?"

"That makes me think of a question," Elliott jumped in. "You're a Night Fury. How often do you go for night flights, now that you need a rider?"

"Not as often as I used to," Toothless answered easily, "but more often than you'd think. I know Hiccup lives on a day schedule, so I wake him up early each morning so he can spend as much of the day awake as possible. I know he appreciates that. But when he's got something on his mind and he can't sleep, his usual response is to saddle me up and go for a long, easy night ride. For some reason, that helps him think, and it also helps him relax. As soon as I hear him say, 'That's it!' or 'I've got it!' that means our ride is just about over. But you won't hear me complain!"

"An easy night flight?" Shenron repeated. "Nothing crazy? He does not let you fly any way you want?"

"I get my crazies out of my system during our morning flight," the black dragon said. "He doesn't frustrate me in the air; I have no complaints. That's one reason we're so good for each other. If Fishlegs had befriended me instead of Hiccup, now _that_ might have been frustrating! The one time Fishlegs had to ride me, he had the nerve to ask, 'Just give me the Night without the Fury!' Of course, I had to show him who was the boss, and once he understood that, we worked well enough together. But can you believe it? 'The Night without the Fury!' As if _that_ would ever happen!"

Shrek-Dragon raised her wing. "That raises a question. You've mentioned Fishlegs as a rider. What would have happened if one of Hiccup's other friends had found you first?"

Toothless shivered. "If you mean during wartime, then I wouldn't be here. There's no question of that. The only way I might have survived would be if the twins had found me, and they'd fought each other for the privilege of killing me and knocked each other senseless. But if they'd befriended me in peacetime? Let me think.

"Astrid? She and I might have made a decent team. She likes flying fast and doing tricks, and she likes to be the best at everything, so a dragon who _is_ the best at everything wouldn't be a bad fit for her. The only possible problem is that she wants to give all the orders. Hiccup lets me think for myself; neither of us is dominant in the relationship. Astrid and I would probably butt heads a lot when it comes to problem-solving, and that would be frustrating.

"Fishlegs? Doubtful. Like I said, he likes to fly straight and level; we'd drive each other crazy. Meatlug is a perfect match for him. He does allow her to think for herself and do what she's best at, so he and I would make a decent team in a crisis. But on a day-to-day basis? Forget it.

"Snotlout? Not a chance. He wants to dominate his dragon, the way a Viking would rule over a pony or a dog. Snotlout wouldn't want to listen to me or relate to me; he'd want to own me. I'd buck him off in five minutes.

"The twins would love the kind of flying that Night Furies are best at. I could have some fun with them in the air. But it's more than flying together; it's really about relating together. The twins would never bond with me because they're so bonded to each other. And, I admit, I'd have a hard time being patient with their endless fighting and one-upmanship. That relationship would never work. I'm glad I got the rider I did; things could not have worked out any better."

"We're all glad to hear it," Kalessin nodded. "Who else has a question for our Most Loved Dragon?"

 **o**

 _A/N_  
 _The questions in this story came from Paranbyol, movielover48 and NatBlake, MM, Dragon Lord Draco, Mikowmer, and Cke1st. I still have a few unanswered questions in my inbox; if you send more, I'll see about answering them.  
_


	8. Chapter 8

**The Dragons' Convention** Chapter 08

Spyro had the next question. "How hard would it be for Hiccup to make you a fireproof tail? I mean, he's supposed to be clever, right? Can't he use dragon scales or something?"

Toothless shrugged, which is a very expressive gesture for a dragon because it makes their wings bob up and down. "I'm sure he could do it if he set his mind to it. But once he did that, life would get really boring. I mean, think of how many problems would never have happened if my fake tail was fireproof! My tail catching fire is a golden plot device for the writers, and I'd hate to ruin their fun."

"But think of all the trouble that came from fire on your tail!" Firedrake objected. "Hiccup lost his leg, you've been banged up in multiple crash landings... is it worth it just to keep the writers happy?"

"This discussion is going totally meta," Kalessin reminded them. "Can we try and stick to reality as we know it?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Spyro demanded.

"I have a question," Spike said timidly, and waited until Toothless acknowledged him. "People like to write stories about you turning into a human, or about Hiccup turning into a dragon. What do you think about those?"

Toothless' response was to cough three times and upchuck a stomach full of fish. "That's what I think of most of those Toothless-turns-human stories," he said with distaste. "Oh, there are a few of them that are well-written, like 'Umbreytingu,' but most of them serve little or no purpose beyond me mating with him. There are way too many stories like that already. Do we really need to invent new and different ways to do Toothcup?"

Most of the dragons shouted, "No!" but a few called "Yes!" Toothless looked irked, but he couldn't tell who was casting the "yes" votes, so he went on.

"As for Hiccup turning into a dragon... you'd think that would fall into the same category as me becoming a human, but for some reason, the idea of a dragon Hiccup brings out the best in some fanfic authors. I mean, if you look at the most popular stories in the fandom, at least two of them, 'I Hear Him Scream' and 'Lightning and Death Itself,' are all about Hiccup turning into a Night Fury. There are some other good stories in that genre as well. Speaking of which, I'll put in a plug for two more dragon-Hiccup stories, 'Dimmadreki' and 'Dimmadreki's Quest,' if you don't mind."

"Because the author bribed you with two baskets of fish, right?" Mushu challenged him.

"Right, and also because those stories do a good job of portraying what Hiccup's life would probably be like if he had the incredibly good luck to turn into one of us. In any case, there's plenty of drek and drivel in the dragon-Hiccup concept, but there are some diamonds here and there."

"Diamonds!" Smaug exclaimed. "That reminds me. There's a question I've been dying to ask you."

"Too late, you're already dead," Draco said snidely. Smaug let out an angry puff of smoke in his direction, then turned back to Toothless and went on.

"Everybody knows that dragons love gold and jewels and other precious things. We hoard them, we sleep on them, and we'll fight and kill to get more of them. But not you! In fact, none of the dragons in your part of the world have a hoard. Why is that?"

"That's a good question," Gorbash chimed in. "A story about dragons who don't collect gold seems as implausible, as... as... as a story about vampires who sparkle in the sunlight instead of dying from it. It's impossible!"

"Hoo-boy, are _you_ out of touch!" Mushu muttered.

"Well, think about it," Toothless said defensively. "Imagine all those hundreds of Northland dragons, all wanting enough gold to sleep on. Now think about how much gold is in the Northland. That's 'not much,' in case you didn't know. This isn't a swords-and-sorcery environment, where anybody can walk into a random cave and find a chest full of treasure. Many Vikings would go from the cradle to the barrow without ever laying their hands on one gold coin. And, as we all know, the humans have to mine and refine and shape the gold before it's good enough for a dragon. So if you've got hundreds of dragons who all want gold, and very little gold, what have you got?"

"A bloodbath," Drogon realized.

Saphira nodded. "A massive fight for the gold, winner takes all. Your hundreds of dragons would be whittled down to one or two."

"Exactly," Toothless nodded. "I know a lot of you would welcome a bloodbath among the humans, especially if it meant more gold for you. But a bloodbath among the dragons? Bad idea. That would be really nasty. What I think happened is that, over the centuries, the Northland dragons who lusted after gold killed each other off, and the dragons who are left no longer have that trait. We're more concerned with getting enough food to eat."

"I never saw a codfish that shined like the Arkenstone," Smaug objected.

"And I never saw an Arkenstone that tasted as good as a codfish," Toothless shot back. "You can have your gold and your gemstones; I don't want them. Besides, all you can do is sit on them, and what good is that?"

"You should not object to things you know nothing about," Temeraire rumbled. "Just to own such treasures is a treasure in itself."

"I think you're going Chinese-mystic on me," Toothless said dismissively. "I've got no use for that stuff, either."

"You got a problem with that?" Mushu demanded. He began shadow-boxing and weaving. "I'll go Chinese-mystic on _you,_ you illegitimate son of a sand lizard! Put 'em up! Defend yourself!" His boxing and weaving abruptly stopped when Temeraire put his foot down. Mushu found himself between two of the Celestial's huge claws. He looked up, startled, and saw only black underbelly. Temeraire bent down indulgently so he could see the tiny Chinese dragon he'd almost stepped on.

"You were saying?" he rumbled.

"Whoa! Back off, big guy!" Mushu protested. "I mean, we're all on the same side, right?"

"Yes, we are," Kalessin reminded them, "and it's good to remember that now and then. Temeraire, please don't step on the smaller dragons. It's bad form."

"I agree," Temeraire nodded, "but in spite of Toothless' attitude toward Chinese culture, we black dragons have to band together for mutual support."

"Can I be part of this black-dragon club?" Ancalagon asked.

"We are _not_ going to divide ourselves into clubs, based on color or anything else," Kalessin said firmly. "That is how civil wars start, and we all agree that a war among dragons would be very, very bad. Now, who else has a question for Toothless?"

"Can I ask another one?" Spyro wondered. When Kalessin nodded, the purple dragon turned to Toothless. "What was it like to carry Stoick the Vast around? I mean, how did you get off the ground?"

"It wasn't easy," Toothless admitted. "The guy must weigh close to 300 pounds, and he's not very streamlined. Just to look at us, you'd never think we could become airborne. But we did. It was hard, and it was exhausting, but we did it."

"Can I make a suggestion?" Ruth asked, his many-faceted eyes whirling. "On Pern, it's common knowledge that a dragon can lift as much as he thinks he can lift. Our only limit is our own self-confidence. Maybe it was the same with you."

"I guess it's possible," Toothless nodded slowly, "but I'll be honest - I was _not_ convinced that I could lift him! I suppose the real reason is that I didn't want to disappoint Hiccup. He motivates me to be a better dragon. Someday I need to find a way to thank him for that."

"I have a question, if you don't mind," Temeraire said. "What happened between you and the Whispering Death? To run a grudge that long and deep means something happened, and I know several authors have made suggestions. Could you tell us, or is that going to bring up bad memories?"

Toothless shivered and took a deep breath. "Bad memories? You have no idea!"

"It's all right if you don't want to talk about it," Kalessin said soothingly.

"No, it's a fair question," the Night Fury replied. "Besides, one of these days, that Whispering Death is going to show up at this convention, and it will be better for everyone if the truth is known in advance.

"I was a young dragon, barely into my third year, when my mother sent me away so we both couldn't get killed at the same time. I wandered aimlessly, looking for food and a nest to belong to, or maybe even another Night Fury to be with. I didn't find anybody. Other kinds of dragons were glad to have me around, but only for my human-fighting talents. I finally got so lonely, I disobeyed my mother and went back home. When I got back to our little family nest in a cave on a hillside, my mother was gone. There was nothing there but a black egg.

"My mother never came back to the nest; I never found out what happened to her. All I knew was that this egg was my brother or sister, and it might be the only other Night Fury in the world. I moved back into the nest and guarded that egg, night and day. I left only to eat. And one night, I came back from eating, and I found the Whispering Death curled up asleep in my nest..." He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. "... and one of his spines had pierced the egg and killed it." The other dragons let out gasps of horror.

"He probably didn't even know what he'd done. But I knew, and I almost went insane. I attacked him then and there, even though we were in a dark cave where he had the advantage, and I left my mark on him. He fled deeper into the cave, throwing spines at me and snarling about unprovoked attacks. When I tried to follow him, I almost got lost in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. He got away. But he swore revenge against me, which was fine with me, because I wanted the same thing - revenge! I'd still love to get another piece of him. But the next time we fought, Hiccup taught me mercy, and I guess he was right, in a way. Nothing I could ever do to that dragon will bring the egg back. What's done is done." He shivered and whispered, "I _hate_ that dragon! He killed my only brother! I cant _tell_ you how much I _hate_ him!"

After a long moment of silence, Mushu said, in a rare serious moment, "Would it help if I put dishonor on him?"

Vermithrax softly added, "I know how you feel, and I mourn for your loss, but it's good to know that you're a real dragon in at least one way. You know how to hold a lifelong grudge." Several of the other dragons nodded in agreement.

"We all have a lot more in common than we realize," Kalessin said. "We just have to get past our different circumstances and our different exteriors to see what really matters."

 **o**

 _A/N_  
 _The questions in this chapter were provided by Drunken Hamster, ElderFury, Paranbyol, Dracologistmaster, and The Crimson Commando. I'm still taking suggestions for questions that the other dragons can ask Toothless. I've got a few that I haven't used yet, so if you haven't seen your question, don't despair._


	9. Chapter 9

**The Dragons' Convention** Chapter 8

"I have a question," Cassie asked. "I hope it isn't too personal, but... if you had children, what would you name them?"

"Well, for starters, that's a big 'if,'" Toothless began. "I'm sure they don't deal with the facts of life on 'Dragon Tales,' but it takes two to make eggs, and there's only one of me."

"Oh, we know all about that stuff," Ord cut in, "but we only talk about it off-camera, to keep things kid-friendly. And whenever we talk about it, her favorite word of the day is 'no.'" Cassie turned from pink to a fascinating shade of red.

"Anyway," Toothless rushed on, hoping to cover for her discomfort, "what would I name my children? Well, I'm sure my mate would want a say in the matter, but if it was up to me, my firstborn would be named 'Fearless,' my second would be 'Deathless,' and if we had a third, I'd call that one, umm..."

"Brainless?" Mushu suggested. Toothless scowled and spat out a small firebolt that made the little Chinese dragon jump for his life. It left a burnt, blackened circle three feet across in the grass.

"Hey, big guy!" Mushu called to Kalessin as he hid behind Elliott. "Are you gonna let him get away with that?"

"Mushu, you've been warned more than once," Kalessin scolded him. "These are _dragons_ you're dealing with, not impressionable humans! If you keep antagonizing them, then you're going to reap some consequences, and I'm not going to stand in their way." He turned to Toothless. "So you like the sound of the name Hiccup gave you, and you'd want to continued that theme, if you could?"

"It's not so much that I like it," Toothless said thoughtfully, "but I'm used to it. It's become 'me,' because that's what Hiccup calls me, and his ideas mean more to me than anyone else's."

"Even the name your mother gave you?" Cassie wondered.

"Yes, even more than that name."

"Out of curiosity," Draco asked, "what _was_ the name your mother gave you?"

"I haven't gone by that name in years," Toothless said, "and I've never told another soul what it was. But this is a fairly mature group of dragons... for the most part," he added with a sidelong glance at Mushu, "and I feel like I can trust you with my real name. My real name is Ecky-ecky-ecky-ptang-zoop-boing-bigwam-ohh."

"You're not serious!" Reluctant burst out. "Are you?"

"No, I'm not," Toothless grinned. "Next question, please."

"I've got one," Falkor said. "How hard was it to carry Stoick the Vast before he found his Thunderdrum?"

"Didn't someone already ask that question?" Rhaegal called.

"Yes, but apparently it's a big issue with some of you," Kalessin said. "Toothless, would you mind answering that one again?"

"Ugh!" Toothless exclaimed. "They call him 'the Vast' for a reason! I think it would take a dragon at least three times my size to carry him comfortably."

"So how did you get him off the ground?" Shrek-Dragon asked.

"I borrowed a page from Ruth and Mnementh's book," Toothless replied; the two Pernese dragons nodded in approval. "On Pern, a dragon can lift anything he thinks he can lift. So I tried it, and it seemed to work, at least for lifting Stoick."

"So it's all about a positive mental attitude?" Firedrake asked. "You became the Little Dragon that Could, saying, 'I think I can, I think I can...'?"

"No, it's all about trying to make Hiccup happy," the Night Fury replied. "I nearly broke my back carrying that big galoot... or maybe I should say _he_ nearly broke my back... but I felt like I had to make it happen, because Hiccup wanted it to happen. I never heard Thornado complain about Stoick's weight, but then, Thornado was never a complainer. But I could tell that it slowed him down when he carried his rider. Skullcrusher had no problem because he's a bigger dragon than either of us. As for me, I'd be perfectly happy if I never had to revisit that particular episode, ever again."

"Speaking of episodes, I've got a question," the Krayt Dragon said. "What do you think of the episodes of the first CN series? Which ones are your favorites, and which are your least-favorites?"

"Hmmm" Toothless looked thoughtful. "I'll go through them in order, so I don't miss any. 'How to Start a Dragon Training Academy' wasn't my favorite, because I had to eat the humans' food and look like a bad dragon. The hurt look in Hiccup's eyes wasn't worth the meal they gave me.

"'Viking for Hire...' I didn't have much of a role in that one. Maybe I should be grateful for that; the other dragons said Gobber's crazy saddles were the worst thing since nets and catapults! I could take that one or leave it.

"'Animal House' was kind of fun. I don't get many chances to terrorize the livestock, now that we dragons are friends with the Vikings. I also got to help save Hiccup's life in the snow. I still don't understand why he and Astrid acted like they didn't want to be together; I thought that's what they always wanted. I guess I just don't understand humans.

"'The Terrible Two's' is one of my least favorites, because Hiccup wouldn't listen to me. It was very frustrating. I recognized the young Typhoomerang as soon as I saw it, and I also saw trouble coming. I did everything I could to warn Hiccup, and he just blew me off! Personally, I think that was kind of OOC on his part; he usually listens to me better than that.

'"In Dragons We Trust..." I definitely don't like that one. I hated it when Hiccup had to leave me behind. That was even more OOC of him than in the previous one! In the first movie, he was ready to lose everything for my sake, and now he's dumping me on a rocky island without any way to fly or feed myself, just because his father is blaming all dragons for the actions of a couple of us, or so he thought? I sure didn't feel any warm fuzzies toward Stoick in that one, that's for sure.

'"Alvin and the Outcasts' was a little better. I got to shoot a longship and blow things up; that's always fun.

'"How to Pick Your Dragon,' like I said a minute ago, was almost the death of me. Stoick didn't listen to me any better than he listened to Hiccup. I suppose there is justice, though. He wound up with a dragon that doesn't listen much better than he does."

"Are you saying Thornado is as inattentive as Stoick is?" Zak asked.

"Not inattentive," Toothless corrected him. "He just can't hear well. What would you expect from a dragon with a voice that loud? All that high-decibel roaring has partially deafened him, just like most Thunderdrums. As for Skullcrusher, he can hear just fine, but he's as stubborn as any Viking, so again, they deserve each other.

"'Portrait of Hiccup as a Buff Man' was a little bit frustrating, because Hiccup faced a series of problems, and I couldn't help him solve most of them. I just kind of tagged along and watched while the other dragons did all the work. And at the end, did we have anything to show for it? Hiccup learned something about himself, Stoick learned something about his son, but that's about it."

Smaug was aghast. "You mean that entire treasure trove got lost in the cave-in? All that gold? All those beautiful things? _Please_ say it didn't happen!"

"Sorry, big fellow," Toothless said casually. "Hamish rigged his traps so, no matter which answer Hiccup chose, nobody got the gold."

Smaug growled, and some smoke curled out of his nostrils. "This Hamish might have been the cruelest human who ever lived. Or... was he human at all? He was supposed to be a hiccup, right? Maybe he was really a hobbit! That would explain why he was so cruel to dragons."

"Maybe, but I don't think it works that way," Toothless replied. "He was a Viking and the son of a Viking, so the chances of him being a hobbit were pretty slim. Then there was 'Dragon Flower.' Getting a fatal disease was not high on my list of things to do, even if I did get cured eventually. But knowing that Mildew got it in the end was almost worth it." Draco, Falkor, and Reluctant chuckled at the pun; the others didn't notice it.

"'Heather Report' was kind of a strange episode. They portrayed Stormfly as totally OOC, nothing but a mercenary who would sell out her rider for a piece of chicken. That's not the Stormfly I know! Heather was sort of a Robin Hood-type character, doing bad things for a good reason. She helped me and Hiccup fly faster, and that was _very_ good. But I don't trust a dragon-stealer. If circumstances had been a little different, she might have made off with me instead of Stormfly. Am I supposed to like a character like that? No, thank you.

"'Thawfest...' I hated that one, for one simple reason."

"You lost the race!" Saphira called.

"I suppose you had to remind me," Toothless scowled. "I had that one in the bag! There's no _way_ Hookfang could have beaten me! I would have won, which means Hiccup would have been the big winner... and then he went and _made me lose!_ On purpose! I was _not_ happy with him! Someone wrote a story called 'Thawfest Interlude' that describes how we worked that out. I guess I can see his point, but it would have been fun to give Snotlout what he deserves, just once."

"And you really wanted to win, right?" Spyro called out.

"Yes, of course I did!" Toothless agreed. "I'm a Night Fury! Losing isn't something I do very often, and I admit, I'm not very gracious about it." Spyro agreed with that.

"'When Lightning Strikes' had its ups and downs. I got to be the hero, but almost everyone thought I was the villain until the very end. I got to save Hiccup's life again, but seeing him get hit by a lightning bolt wasn't worth it. But all those goodies they brought me at the very end... yum! I think I gained twenty pounds while they were filming that episode. If there was a way to get more goodies without seeing Hiccup get hurt again, I'd leap at the chance.

"'What Flies Beneath,' as I said earlier, was kind of a defining moment in my relationship with Hiccup. I don't have fond memories of those events, but if I could go back and do it differently, I wouldn't change a thing. I need to be reminded, now and then, how important my human is to me, and that episode is a powerful reminder. That one might be my very favorite.

"'Twinsanity,' 'Defiant One,' and 'Gem of a Different Color' were all written to give the other dragon-riders a chance to be the star. I didn't have much to do in any of them. I suppose I don't mind letting the others have the spotlight now and then... except for Snotlout. The guy is a fighter, he's fearless, and those are all the good things I can say about him. If I could have left him behind on Outcast Island during 'Defiant One,' I would have been tempted. But Hiccup wanted him home, and Hiccup gets what Hiccup wants.

"'Breakneck Bog' was about Hiccup, and I don't begrudge him his time in front of the cameras. But there wasn't much for me to do, except fly back and forth. Those Smothering Smokebreaths could have been a threat to me if they went after my tail's control rods. Fortunately, they didn't try very hard.

"And that brings us to 'We Are Family.' I got my hopes up when I first heard about that one. Then they ruined it for me by inventing my echo-location ability, which seemed like a _deus ex machina_ moment. I mean, I just happen to have this amazing ability that I never used before, and I suddenly start using it just when our lives depend on it. Seriously? Why didn't I use it when we were flying through the sea stacks in the 'Test Drive' sequence? Why didn't I use it to track the Whispering Death underground in 'What Flies Beneath?' That was sloppy scriptwriting, if you ask me."

"How did you feel about the fake Night Fury that Alvin used to decoy you?" Visarion asked.

"It was a pathetically bad decoy," Toothless replied. "It didn't smell like a dragon, it didn't move, it didn't make any sound, it didn't fool me for a moment... but it fooled Hiccup, mostly because _he_ was so desperate to find another Night Fury. I checked it out because of him. I wasn't amazed to find out it was a fake, but I wasn't expecting an Outcast trap. Fooling the Outcast guards in that prison cell wasn't even a challenge. But then came the ending, when the Outcasts trapped us again, and the other dragons came to our rescue. How humiliating! A Night Fury, having to be rescued by other dragons! Stormfly and Hookfang still rub my nose in it now and then.

"But it's like I said before – it's not that big a deal if I don't find any more Night Furies. That episode was driven by Hiccup, not by me. It's not one of my favorites. And I guess that's all I can say about the first series."

"What about the other seasons of the series?" Stanley Steamer asked.

"I'm afraid we won't have time for him to go through those this year," Kalessin cut in. "Our time is running short. We've got time for one or two more questions before we take our final meal break." Thoughts of food quickly chased esoteric questions out of most of the dragons' minds. Only one dragon raised his paw. It was Toothless from the books.

"C-c-can Toothless be awesome like you?"

Movie-Toothless smiled down at the tiny dragon. "No one can be awesome like me. I'm a Night Fury! But you can be awesome in your own way. I'm led to understand that you're going to grow very large someday. When that happens, never forget what it was like to be small. It will help you stay out of trouble, and it may help you solve problems that can't be solved by size alone. Always remember – it's not the size of the dragon in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dragon."

"Well said," Kalessin nodded, as did Spyro, Lockheed, and Mushu. "Now, I think we've pressed Toothless' patience to the limit. It's meal time, and –" Whatever he said next was drowned out by dozens of enthusiastic roars and bellows. He tried again. "And I think we should let our two honorees go first in line."

"That would put _me_ in front of the line," Drogon snarled at the much smaller Night Fury. "Unless you'd like to fight me for it?"

"Fight him!" Rhaegal whispered.

"We can both be in front," Toothless said mildly, "because we'll be in two different lines. You eat flesh, I eat fish. We aren't competing with each other."

"You spoil all my fun," Drogon rumbled. All the dragons lined up for a meal that they liked; some chose cow, some went for pig, sheep. or goat, and some chose fish. Most of them were thrilled with their supper, although Vermithrax was heard to lament that she had to settle for a cow when she'd had her heart set on eating a virgin. When they were done, they said their farewells and, one by one, flapped away toward their own homes. The ones who couldn't fly, like Glaurung and the Krayt Dragon, walked down a huge tunnel with many branches, so they could still get home. Toothless and Kalessin were the last to leave.

"You've done well for a young dragon," the ancient one nodded.

"Thank you," Toothless replied. "I've had a lot of good role models to inspire me."

"And yet you've chosen a path that's very different from most dragons," Kalessin went on. "Let me ask you a question of my own. Where do you think you would be if you hadn't met Hiccup?"

"Nowhere," Toothless said firmly. "I'd still be the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself, raining down destruction on Viking villages everywhere. I'd be hated and hunted by all humans. In the nest, I'd be isolated because I'm the only one of my kind. Even the Red Death left for a mating flight every few years, but I had no one. It was just a matter of time until some Viking with a catapult got lucky, and then... no more me, and no more Night Furies. Game over, and I don't think anyone would have missed me."

"So the destiny you found with Hiccup wasn't just fortunate," Kalessin observed. "It meant the difference between life and death for you."

"I couldn't have picked a better destiny if I'd been able to arrange it myself," the Night Fury nodded. "If we dragons had deities, I'd wonder if one of them had suddenly decided to do something nice for me."

"No, we don't have deities," the much older dragon agreed. "But the humans do. Perhaps it was Hiccup's god who took a hand in your destiny, for Hiccup's benefit, and incidentally, for yours."

"I suppose it's possible, but we can never really know. I'm just glad things worked out the way they did. Very glad." Toothless wiggled his tail, making sure everything was still locked down before he tried to fly. "Being considered the Most Loved by all those humans is special. But being Most Loved by one human in particular... that's what matters. I'll see you next year." He sprang into the air, laboriously altered his heading, and set a course for Berk. He was soon out of sight in the darkening sky.

 _The End_

 **o**

 _A/N_  
 _The questions in this chapter came from Drunken Hamster, Paranbyol, and Cke1st (that's me). Thank you to all the readers who sent in questions, even the questions I didn't feel like I could use in this story.  
_


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